Welcome to my first PPV Results and Review! We’re going to see if the WWE is able to put on a decent show after a not-so-decent go-home show of Raw. This show already seems to be behind the 8-ball with underdeveloped stories and fan apathy. We’ll see though, because it is still wrestling, meaning it can still make for a fun evening!
Preshow
Preshow is on now, which I’m going to give a generalized review for (if it wasn’t good enough to make the main show, it’s not good enough to get individualized reviews. Enzo and Cass take on The Club in a match that seems even less relevant than it was last time they pushed this rivalry a few months back. Of course it ends with a roll up, since hey, someone had to roll something to think this was a good idea. The other notable segment of the preshow is of course Miz TV with the incomparable Finn Balor. How is he not on the main show? What a waste of a superb talent. Good to hear him state plainly that he wants his title back. He seems more comfortable on the mic these days, and while Miz TV didn’t change anything for Miz or Balor, I’m always happy to see the Demon King. I will say though… if I didn’t have the Network, this would have done nothing to convince me to buy the show tonight.
2 Chair Shots out of 5
And we’re live from San Jose for one of WWE’s 245 PPV events this year! Preshow is over, and now it’s time for the main show to begin. All scores will be settled! Only they won’t because it’s wrestling! Zayn and Owens anyone?
Jericho vs (c)Owens (US Championship match)
What a surprise match to kick the show off with. The one long running, well built rivalry is getting the blow-off match as the opener. We probably know the outcome, but we also know these two will put on one hell of a show! We’ll miss you Y2J when you go on tour; no one sports a light up scarf better than you.
I love “The Face of America” shtick that KO has going right now. I hope he holds this belt for a while and really runs with this gimmick. I kinda need that shirt for 4th of July. Owens starts the match by running from his challenger, of course resulting in a pop when Jericho catches his prey, and we get some nice physical spots to emphasize the rivalry that has burgeoned between these two since last year. I still miss JeriKO though…
Nice Cannon Ball into the barricade to give us a near count out, but Jericho of course rolls in before KO slows things down with a senton and a choke hold. Beardless KO is weird…
Gotta love the ‘stupid idiot’ chants. Another reason to miss Jericho when he leaves. That said, no one looks like they are legitimately hurting someone more than KO, aside from Brock Lesnar. He looks like he is going to rip your head off each and every time he hits the ring. It’s why he is such a good heel. And he does this while not looking like a Greek God, but instead, just someone who likes to fight.
Awesome kick from KO for a near fall proves my point; he looks like he wants to hurt you. A double finisher reversal followed by a Lionsault into the knees of Owens. A cannonball leads to another near-fall and a Pop-up Powerbomb is reversed into the Walls of Jericho! Great sequence! Another single finger rope-break, which was unnecessary. It was cool the first time… try something else in round 2 please. Jericho gets vicious and smashes the arm of KO into the ring with the stairs. KO milks it, leading to an eye-rake. Another Walls of Jericho in the center of ring leads to a tap-out as Owens can’t reach out with his injured hand, and in a shocking conclusion, Jericho wins! What a swerve.
Jericho is your new US Champion! So much for “The Face of America”, unless there’s a rematch clause for tomorrow/Tuesday.
Good match, but falls short of the classic they put on at WrestleMania.
3.5 Chair Shots out of 5
(Fuck it, I’m introducing half chairs)
Austin Aries vs (c) Neville (Cruiserweight Championship match)
Both men’s singles titles defended in the first two matches? Odd choice, WWE…
First thing my wife asks? “These two are fighting again?” It is getting a bit repetitive between these guys, but they are simply too good not to have in the title match at this point. The division is growing, but these two are still at the top of the ladder. Should be interesting to see where they go with this. I’d like Neville to continue holding the title, but Austin Aries will get the belt eventually. It’ll be interesting to see who takes this match.
Neville has really bought in to the heel aspects of his character. He acts mean, cut back on some of the high flying moves, and just uses his strength to his advantage. It’s really great that his Red Arrow finisher is a rare move. It makes it special, and lends to that heel cred. He doesn’t use it for your entertainment; it’s a weapon used as a last resort.
Nice, vicious drop-kick leads to a near-fall, before Neville goes to work. He taunts the crowd, begging for their boos. It’s effective. You love to hate him. Austin Aries gives Neville a quick kick as he taunts the crowd some more before… hulking up? I’m not sure what that was. Some stiff slaps which always sound like pain. A near-fall for the challenger, and Aries takes control. The suicide dive through the bottom ropes seems less awe-inspiring than through the top two, or better yet, over the top. Just a nit-pick.
Aries pulls the elbow pad and sets up for a Discuss Forearm, getting a reversal, before finally hitting him in the corner with it. Sunset flip into the Last Chancery, before the ref is thrown by Neville, causing the DQ.
Austin Aries gets the W, but Neville retains. Good way to keep both looking strong.
3 Chair Shots out of 5
(c)The Hardyz vs Sheamus and Cesaro (Tag Team Championship match)
All three men’s titles defended early tonight. Bizarre.
Will Sheamus and Cesaro push the Hardyz towards a BROKEN future tonight and take the belts from their foes? Or will the nostalgia train keep chugging down the tracks? Or will they retain… and DELETE the competition? Actually quite a few ways for this to play out. The build-up was poor, but thanks to the following both teams have, it should still be an interesting outcome.
Jeff Hardy really can wrestle. Great to see him healthy and sober. Him and Matt will be great when they go into singles action, but I seeing the way both of them have continued to build characters and put on an entertaining match is a testament to their commitment. Hell, just check their Twitter pages.
On the other side of the ring, Sheamus may not be the cool kid that Cesaro is, but he is at the top of his game these days. I love the work he has done since the ‘best of 7’ series between him and his partner. I would not mind in the least if they won the belts back at some point.
The crowd urging Jeff with ‘DELETE’ chants is awesome, and a sign of things that have to come for the duo. You simply cannot ignore the BROKEN gimmick. Hell, Matt continues pulling out some of the BROKEN mannerisms to the delight of the WWE Universe (which despite the company thinking only watches their product, can be very aware of what happens in other promotions).
Cesaro uses every match to showcase his athleticism, and also to give those who say wrestlers aren’t real athletes the finger. He jumps off the ropes like someone half his size. Appropriate that he uses the Sharpshooter as well, since he can put on a technical clinic as well.
The Avalanche White Noise leads to a pin that is broken up by Jeff. This match is very enjoyable. Swanton after the quick tag leads to the 1-2-3, and the Hardyz retain. Really a good match. Strong start to the show.
A post match handshake, and nothing actually changes. Wait, never mind! Heel turn for the team of Cesaro and Sheamus! Now this is a nice turn of events. This is just the start of the rivalry apparently, and now, perhaps, we can go down the road of breaking the Hardyz. Brogue Kicks for everyone, and the heels stand tall with the belts after the beat down.
Good segment indeed.
3.5 Chair Shots out of 5
(c)Bayley vs Alexa Bliss (Women’s Championship match)
Ok, all of the belts will be fought over before the clock hits 10 tonight. I’m really a bit confused by this choice. I knew the House of Horrors or the Reigns vs Strowman match would close the night, but I didn’t think both would be after all of the titles were utilized.
Hometown pop for Bayley is unsurprising, but I’d love to see Bliss take this match. She has really come into her own over the last 6 months. Also like the Iron (wo)Man-like look she’s sporting. I was getting sick of the Harley Quinn bit.
Bliss is great at egging the crowd on. Bayley is great at wrestling. She just irritates me. She needs a character refresher. The hugging thing is just… Well, I guess it’s for the hipsters.
Bliss stepping on the ponytail, pulling the ponytail, dragging by the ponytail, all effective. She just looks like she is having fun as a heel. Not that Bayley isn’t having fun as the face, but it shows when a Superstar thrives as a heel, and makes that character more believable.
Bayley getting the neckbreaker from the ropes changes the fortunes for the face, and she begins working back into the match. She takes control with a series of running elbows and a sliding clothesline. A near-fall after a suplex, and Bayley finds her way up the ropes, giving her competitor an elbow. She goes for a Bayler-to-belly, but Bliss reverses in painful fashion. Bliss gets a 2 count off of a Sunset-flip. A Macho Man flying elbow leads to a 2 count, and the crowd is really into this match. Bayley goes for the pin, but Bliss kicks her head first into the post. That hurt. A DDT from Bliss shortly after, capitalizing on the post spot, and Bliss wins with the 3 count.
Good match. So far, really solid night. Too bad it was so poorly built toward, cause it does feel like it lacks emotion.
4 Chair Shots out of 5
Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton (House of Horrors match)
Here we go. What are we in for? This could be the ultimate shit show, but… maybe it won’t suck? I have no idea. How do you even begin to preview a match like this? How do you anticipate it? How do you get excited for it? Such a great build up prior to WrestleMania, only for this feud to fall flat at the Show of Shows. And now… this thing? I don’t know.
Bray Wyatt secretly must be a Real Estate Mogul. He has all of this strange backwoods property just laying around to beat people up in, or to brainwash minions, or to bury Abigails. It really is something. They go for the horror movie vibe, and it isn’t horrible… it just isn’t good. Someone left the filter from the Wyatt promos on, and forgot this is a wrestling show. Really a match that is also inherently limited by the PG rating.
Don’t let this result in them being teleported to the ring… I don’t know how else they’d get there… but… please? Orton decided he was frustrated and breaks a plate. Oh, and fuck your table Bray. They fight in the kitchen, with Wyatt trying to use a pot as a weapon, before they take a nap on the tile floor. This feels more like a promo than a match, which shouldn’t be that surprising I guess. Wyatt give Orton a low-blow, then crushes Orton with a fridge. Of course.
Wyatt stumbles through the house as though he were me after a night indulging on Southern Comfort (never a good choice), before making his way outside the home. Kneeling in the grass in front of his home, he yells his trademark “Follow the buzzards” and the house turns red. Ok. Wyatt gets in the car and asks the driver to take him to the arena as he sings “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hand”. End of part one I guess. Fine if it were a promo, horrible as part of a match.
I guess… uh, too be continued?
So far though…
1 Chair Shot out of 5
Seth Rollins vs Samoa Joe
So, I forgot about this match. I forgot it was happening. I forgot an advertised match between heated ‘rivals’ was a thing that was going to happen. That’s not good WWE. You have given no one a reason to care about these two very talented wrestlers.
Joe logically targets the knee, trying to look mean and angry, but the match just feels like a normal match on Raw. It lacks intensity. Did like the slow motion shot of Rollins saying “Mother Fucker”. They cut out just before you could make out the -ucker part while reading his lips. Classic.
Powerbomb to a pin from Joe, that Rollins kicks out of, right into a half-crab. Nice little sequence. Both of these guys can put on a show. You just need a reason to care. Also have to wonder… how long are they going to milk the knee thing?
The Falcon Arrow is another one of those pretty moves you wish you’d see used more often. Just enjoy that move. A frog-splash leads to a near-fall soon after. A sleeper and a vicious clothesline puts Joe back in control. Joe tries locking in the Coquina Clutch, but Rollins rolls him up and gets the pin-fall. Rollins wins in a very unsatisfying match.
2 Chair Shots out of 5
Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton (House of Horrors match part 2)
Um, this is still a thing. The crowd is booing, as they were when part 1 ended, and Bray Wyatt may be irreparably damaged because of this match. How are you going to save your next Undertaker character when you book him so horribly. The real horror of this match is how much Bray Wyatt lacks any credibility as a character. I loved him looking strong at the end of Raw this week, even if it made no sense, because at least he looked strong. This isn’t making him look strong. It’s making him, and Orton for that matter, look like a sideshow. I cannot wrap my head around the thought process here.
Go figure, Randy Orton is there as the lights come back. Cause wrestling. Sure, Wyatt took his limo to get back, but Orton probably rode the magic tractor back. A hanging DDT from the table to the ground (vintage of course, or so I’m told), and the crowd expresses its true desire; put him through a table. Who doesn’t love a table. Or a chair. Always love a good chair shot. Wyatt tried selling his injuries, and Randy no sells the crap out of it. Why bother with that whole haunted house bit? Then the Singh Brothers come out and attack Orton. Wyatt tries taking advantage with a Sister Abagail, but of course Orton is still able to reverse it into an RKO. Out come Jinder Mahal, who uses the title to destroy Orton. Wyatt then hits his finisher. 1. 2. 3. No one really wins tonight. Wyatt looks weak. Orton is still boring as a face. And Jinder Mahal is a thing. Fuck this whole match.
Even worse than part one; final grade is the lowest I have given yet.
0.5 Chair Shots out of 5
Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns
This show has really deteriorated after a very strong start. Can Braun save us all again? Or will Roman Reigns put the Monster down? From the weakest link in the Wyatt Family, to the strongest heel on Raw, Strowman has really come far in the last year. Reigns is stuck in the same character hell he’s been in for years. Fans don’t like being told who to cheer, and Reigns will be booed regularly until fans are allowed to pick their face.
Reigns comes to the ring looking like he was hurt. This is consistent storytelling at least. Good on you, WWE. He starts by attacking Strowman, eliciting boos from the crowd. Reigns plays up the injuries by favoring his left arm. Reigns sells a chokeslam onto the announce table. He isn’t a bad wrestler. He just isn’t an interesting character. Strowman begins dominating the match the way we all want, as he has really gotten over with the fans.
Reigns finally manages a Samoan Drop and attempts the pin, but Strowman throws him off with ease. Reigns is really trying to sell those previous injuries, which, again, is good storytelling. Back outside the ring, Reigns shoves Strowman into the ring post, then Strowman runs and misses Reigns for a second post shot leading to a 9 count on Strowman. Spear from Reigns leads to a 2 count. Jesus, that would have destroyed the Strowman character. Reigns sets up for Spear #2 but runs into a boot. Reigns then hits 2 Super Man punches, but before Reigns can hit that built up Spear, Strowman catches him, leading to the Powerslam. Strowman only gets a 2 count, before lifting him like a rag doll and giving Reigns a second Powerslam. Finally. A 3 count, and Strowman wins. That was completely necessary to maintain the momentum of Strowman as he likely takes on Lesnar as a legitimate threat for the Universal Championship.
Post-match, Strowman grabs the steel steps and tosses them into the ring. Time for Strowman to smash as the crowd chants, “Thank you Strowman.” Strowman tosses Reigns onto the stairs chest first, further hurting those ‘injured ribs’. The dent from Reigns’ body in the steps is classic. Then, as the closer, Strowman lifts the steps above his head and slams them down, crushing Reigns. The Roman Empire has fallen, as Reigns coughs up blood in the ring.
And the show ends with another round of “Thank you Strowman” chants. But, you know, Reigns is The Guy, right?
Oh, and a “You deserve it” chant. Yep. Wrestling, ladies and gentlemen.
4 Chair Shots out of 5
Final Grade
So, I enjoyed Payback a lot. I also really hated the House of Horrors match sandwich. This show struggled from the weak build, but made up for it by throwing out some fun swerves, a couple of surprise title changes, and a very impressive finish. I love unstoppable monsters in wrestling. It makes it more memorable when the right wrestler slays the beast. Although, this beast seems like he is on a collision course with The Beast. The show should be a sure thing for a 4, or the equivalent of a B grade. That said, the parts of the show that failed to entertain weren’t just bad; they were horrible. That House of Horrors match will go down as one of the worst matches I will ever experience. And it was sandwiched around an incredibly boring match between two wonderful wrestlers. The bad was real bad, but most of the show succeeded so…
3.5 Chair Shots out of 5
Give 'em the Chair Wrestling 